في وقت متأخر من الليل تقترح القوات الكردية حفر الأوساخ على جو بايدن


Translating…

Television|Late Night Suggests Kurdish Forces Dig Up Dirt on Joe Biden

Best of Late Night

Credit…Comedy Central

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. If you’re interested in hearing from The Times regularly about great TV, sign up for our Watching newsletter and get recommendations straight to your inbox.

President Trump announced Sunday night that American troops would be pulling out of Syria, clearing the way for a Turkish invasion on American-allied Kurdish forces. On Monday, in response to a rebuke from Republicans, Trump tweeted: “As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!).”

Credit…CreditVideo by The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

“Before you judge Trump, he is technically correct — there is nobody who matches his wisdom. He is correct! I mean, no other person — no other person had the wisdom to stare directly into a solar eclipse, huh?” — TREVOR NOAH

“Wow, he’s gone full god-emperor. [Imitating Trump] ‘It is I, Donald the Great, of unmatched wisdom and infinite wives, destroyer of casinos, conqueror of 10-piece McNuggets, scourge of Chrissy Teigen, defeated only once in battle by my eternal nemesis: umbrella.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And people were very quick to point out that this made Trump sound like the wizard from ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ If only we could pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.” — JAMES CORDEN

“That would be reassuring if you ever considered anything off limits. You had sex with a porn star, you partied with Jeffrey Epstein, and you drive your golf cart on the green. The only way you’ll stop Turkey is if they try to get your tax returns.” — SETH MEYERS

“That’s right — one step out of line, he will run Turkey into the ground like it was one of his casinos in Atlantic City.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“This is a complete betrayal of the Kurdish fighters who helped the U.S. defeat ISIS, and there’s only one way out of this: Kurds, you’ve got 24 hours to dig up dirt on Joe Biden.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“In a rare show of unity, Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell denounced the decision. And even the president’s own potbellied pig, Lindsey Graham, called into Fox & Friends to label the move a ‘disaster in the making’ that will ‘undo all the gains we’ve made’ and ‘throw the region into further chaos.’ And then he hung up chanting, ‘Four more years!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Just standing out there and bluntly asking China for election help is a tough one for Republicans to spin. But they came up with a terrible excuse that Trump was joking about China investigating the Bidens. I just want to point out that I tell jokes for a living, and successful or not, rarely do people I work with have to go on Sunday news shows to explain that I was joking.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“So to recap, we now have two whistle-blowers; we have the transcript of the phone call; a bunch of highly incriminating text messages; and not only did Trump do it privately with Ukraine, he asked China to do it on television. If this was ‘Judge Judy,’ he’d be out before the first mesothelioma commercial.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Come on — he’s the president; we have to take his job seriously. It’s not his job to outrage people. You’re talking about him like he’s some shock jock with a morning radio show.” — SETH MEYERS

Lupita Nyong’o showed off her freestyle skills as her rapping alter ego, Troublemaker, on “The Tonight Show.”

Will Smith will pop by “The Late Show” to talk about his new film, “Gemini Man.”

Jeanette Winterson’s new novel, “Frankissstein,” fictionalizes a pre-fame Mary Shelley, juxtaposing the author’s early 1800s creation of Frankenstein’s monster with a modern-day counterpart: a transgender surgeon creating sex bots.

 

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